I am a little white liar.

We spend a lot of time accolading the importance of telling the truth over here.

“Jax, did you paint semi-trucks on my iPhone?”
“Huh? What? I love you.”
“Put your honesty cap on, buddy.”

We talk about telling the truth, we champion honesty, hoorah for us and our noble endeavors.

As I was patting myself on the back for a job well done, Jax asked me to go swimming. As smoothly as a dirty politician, I said, “Ehhh, I think you had enough sun yesterday.”  (What does that even mean??)

Really, I just don’t want to take another shower today. Because that is clearly too much effort for a Sunday. Clearly. I know you have my back on this.

I started thinking about the last week. These all happened:

Question:
“Why do I have to have yogurt? Why can’t I have tortilla chips?”
Lie:
Yogurt is better for you.
Truth:
Because the yogurt has been in the fridge for a year and a half, and I need to get rid of it.

Question:
“Why can’t I listen to KidzBop?”
Lie:
I want to talk to you, and hear about all the exciting things that happened at school today!
Truth:
Because if I hear the Chipmunks singing Beyonce one more time, I am going to tie your iPad to a lawn chair and throw it in the pool.

Question:
“Why do I need a nap?”
Lie:
Buddy, you look so tired. A nap will make you feel better.
Truth:
Orange is the New Black.

There it is. I am a routine teller of white lies to my child. Let’s call this Epiphany Sunday. And guess what, in the name of that solitary shred of sanity I have left, I am going to keep on white lie trucking.

I love you all. (Oh crap, I did it again.)

Sincerely-ish,
Becca

Rebecca Masterson is a writer, speaker, and an advocate for children. For more from Rebecca, follow her on Instagram.

14 Comments

  1. lifeofacampcounselor

    Ah, but don’t you think that the white lies a mother tells are for everyone’s sanity?

    Reply
  2. lifeofacampcounselor

    Ah, but don’t you think that the white lies a mother tells are for everyone’s sanity?

    Reply
  3. Marci

    Dying!!!! Orange is the New Black!!!

    Reply
  4. Marci

    Dying!!!! Orange is the New Black!!!

    Reply
  5. Mom

    I wish Piper would have had a much longer sentence, because she’s out in six months and I can’t stand for the series to end! Can they make her do something so that she’s in there longer? I need to know what happens to Tasty, Red, Vee and Pornstach (who I think I saw in the flesh at the go-kart park yesterday!).

    Reply
    • Rebecca Masterson

      Pretty sure you’ll know what happens to Vee at the end of season 2. #spoiler

      Reply
  6. Mom

    I wish Piper would have had a much longer sentence, because she’s out in six months and I can’t stand for the series to end! Can they make her do something so that she’s in there longer? I need to know what happens to Tasty, Red, Vee and Pornstach (who I think I saw in the flesh at the go-kart park yesterday!).

    Reply
    • Rebecca Masterson

      Pretty sure you’ll know what happens to Vee at the end of season 2. #spoiler

      Reply
  7. Sasha

    Hahaha, love this!! I too admit to being a white liar to my kids! Good to know I am not alone. 🙂

    Reply
  8. Sasha

    Hahaha, love this!! I too admit to being a white liar to my kids! Good to know I am not alone. 🙂

    Reply
  9. Chibimoekko

    It’s not just to kids, but to our partners as well 🙂
    As long as the intention is good, no harm done? LOL~

    Reply
  10. Chibimoekko

    It’s not just to kids, but to our partners as well 🙂
    As long as the intention is good, no harm done? LOL~

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.